:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
