3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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