you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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