More tranny stories later!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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