I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
