So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
there is glitter all over my balls
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize