I want to walk on stilts...naked
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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