yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
