Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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