i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
