Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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