He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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