Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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