i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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