I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
