If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
