at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
