so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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