I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
