is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
