hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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