Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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