he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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