Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
