I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
