she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
