On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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