i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
