he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
