I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Where is the hickey?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Randomize
