I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
