We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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