Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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