Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
