If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
