You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
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Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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