i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
