at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
