If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
