we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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