I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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