I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Randomize
