Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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