You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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