i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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