i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
