I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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