Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize