Yo dont text me then not text me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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