did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
