girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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