im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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