I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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