But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
