i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize