Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?

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(804): View more from Virginia

Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here

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(502): View more from Kentucky

if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...

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(716): View more from New York

you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?

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(443): View more from Maryland

we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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(520): View more from Arizona

One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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(561): View more from Florida

I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will

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(304): View more from West Virginia

When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.

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