Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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