All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening