Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(586): View more from Michigan

We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.

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(518): View more from New York

Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.

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(727): View more from Florida

pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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(207): View more from Maine

I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening

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