Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now! http://tfl.nu/8f67
  Replies (1) Good night (988) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german. http://tfl.nu/j5lm
  Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap http://tfl.nu/9u2o
  Replies (31) Good night (1139) Bad night (4515)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3667) Bad night (1705)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss. http://tfl.nu/je9l
  Replies (13) Good night (670) Bad night (3680)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex http://tfl.nu/ydbw
  Replies (31) Good night (5365) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): wrong asian. never thought that would happen. http://tfl.nu/96tp
  Replies (16) Good night (1369) Bad night (4053)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic. http://tfl.nu/sxvb
  Replies (80) Good night (31792) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans. http://tfl.nu/hk9w
  Replies (14) Good night (7426) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'. http://tfl.nu/t716
  Replies (3) Good night (1912) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew. http://tfl.nu/8r8n
  Replies (31) Good night (3721) Bad night (1538)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun?? http://tfl.nu/lwzi
  Replies (3) Good night (956) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding. http://tfl.nu/ep7t
  Replies (2) Good night (303) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/82wq
  Replies (0) Good night (786) Bad night (170)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please. http://tfl.nu/kbhd
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (187)

Randomize