# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I would ride that face into the sunset