Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals

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  (858): i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals http://tfl.nu/45ft
  Replies (6) Good night (2586) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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  (862): She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times. http://tfl.nu/p78w
  Replies (22) Good night (4646) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.

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  (217): Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation. http://tfl.nu/9spz
  Replies (14) Good night (9637) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them

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  (610): i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them http://tfl.nu/hras
  Replies (41) Good night (4344) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (27) Good night (1291) Bad night (5958)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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  (518): I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands http://tfl.nu/jxb1
  Replies (12) Good night (4522) Bad night (1693)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy

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  (416): Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy http://tfl.nu/lckr
  Replies (15) Good night (1845) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?

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  (519): On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend? http://tfl.nu/abvl
  Replies (28) Good night (8449) Bad night (1355)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.

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  (850): You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets. http://tfl.nu/bxsc
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.

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  (828): you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire. http://tfl.nu/efxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1602) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.

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  (814): She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow. http://tfl.nu/dddh
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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  (319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

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  (563): I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast http://tfl.nu/ae47
  Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You were drinking Everclear weren't you?

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  (828): While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee (1-828): You were drinking Everclear weren't you? http://tfl.nu/a4qg
  Replies (0) Good night (639) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.

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  (818): Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong. http://tfl.nu/thbe
  Replies (2) Good night (363) Bad night (218)

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