Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org

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  (631): If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org http://tfl.nu/anvp
  Replies (31) Good night (836) Bad night (3190)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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  (208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g
  Replies (27) Good night (8853) Bad night (1294)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure

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  (214): Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure http://tfl.nu/kj79
  Replies (7) Good night (3367) Bad night (993)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.

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  (501): I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to. http://tfl.nu/jfhh
  Replies (10) Good night (1048) Bad night (3234)
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  (619): View more from California

  definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius

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  (619): definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius http://tfl.nu/ay4s
  Replies (25) Good night (2884) Bad night (840)
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  (562): View more from California

  I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service

  (562): View more from California

  And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.

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  (562): I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service (562): And I got $4 when somebody made it rain. http://tfl.nu/btbw
  Replies (4) Good night (2402) Bad night (1056)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.

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  (705): Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/v5hf
  Replies (41) Good night (8121) Bad night (1187)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (514)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.

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  (+44): i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life. http://tfl.nu/b0wt
  Replies (6) Good night (954) Bad night (393)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night

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  (757): So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night http://tfl.nu/a36m
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (530)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD

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  (513): OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD http://tfl.nu/fbed
  Replies (14) Good night (1108) Bad night (516)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.

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  (330): Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative. http://tfl.nu/cyri
  Replies (1) Good night (361) Bad night (224)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER

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  (215): And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER http://tfl.nu/p5xk
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (169)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner

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  (724): I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner http://tfl.nu/mu1f
  Replies (2) Good night (194) Bad night (421)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit

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  (610): He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit http://tfl.nu/33or
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (181)

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