Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.