I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
