Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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