This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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