sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
