im drinking this country out of the recession.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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