Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
