If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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