Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
