But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
