i can't believe i had my finger in that
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
