She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
