I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My vagina is officially offended.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
