return my video game
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
