I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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